Monday, 28 March 2011


Hi there! Today, my fellow friends and minions of Derek, we are all going to learn a little thing about shotguns.

Now, I must say, I am not a complete expert with this sort of thing, and yes, a lot of my information comes from computer game-related topics. So, there is a small chance that I will be completely wrong.

SO! The first thing we are all going to learn about shotguns, is that they are not like normal guns.

Shotguns do not have normal bullets. Where you might think 'If I shoot at a target one kilometre with a shotgun, the bullet will at least reach that distance in a sort of straight line.'

Sorry, but that's incorrect.

To somehow clear things up, let's get some pictures up in here. My character, Israel, has a shotgun that is perfect for what I want to talk about.

This is exhibit A.

And exhibit B.
Ah, much better.

Ok, so his weapon is something called a Double Barrel Shotgun. Say it with me, class. That's right.

The title practically refers to what it is. It's a shotgun. With two barrels.
This gun, however, is more commonly referred to as a sawn-off, because of the way that both the stock (the butt of the gun, the end that presses against your shoulder) and the barrels (um, i'm guessing you all know these) are sawn off of the gun. This allows for easily carrying around the gun and hiding it under, say, a jacket.

But no, that does not mean that you can have a sawn-off bazooka. That would just be way too silly :P

Where was I? Ah yes, teaching. Alright, so now I want to get on to the actual 'bullets' that this beast of a gun shoots.

In Exhibit B, do you see those green cylinder-looking things? Those are called shotgun shells. In this particular gun, it can only hold two at a time.

If you look closely at the shells in Exhibit B, you can also see the gold rim on the outside. Take note of that.

With a double-barrel, there is a sort of flick-switch thing (visible in Exhibit A, if you can spot it. It's on the top, nailed into position by one of the screws) that, when flicked to the side, lets the barrels fall forward a little way on a hinge. This is what we call a Break Barrel. Because the barrel of the gun is breaking in half.

And quite obviously, sitting very tight and cozily in the barrels there, are the tops of two gold-rimmed shotguns shells. (exhibit A.)

Now then, i'm not quite sure about the mechanisms of it all, but from what i know, the trigger gets pulled, hammers swing backward and then forward, making contact with the metal rims of the shells and creating a spark. The spark sets off the gunpowder inside the shells (i don't know how it does, please don't ask) and instead of a bullet being let loose, many SMALLER  bullets do. Pellets, really. But flying at such a high rate that they are deadly.
The moment these pellets leave the barrel, or buckshot, as it is actually called, it spreads out in all directions, covering a wide amount of space.

Shotguns do not shoot very far. A good one will most likely shoot one hundred metres. A bad one, probably only fifteen. By the time the buckshot has reached the target, is has spread out to a wide area, and will most likely make a large mess of whoever it is being fired at.

So, when you are writing, and you say 'The bullet missed him by inches', try and remember if you are writing about a shotgun, because if you are, it would most likely be not missing them by inches, and instead either shooting them to bits, or they dive out the way and it causes havoc to whatever's behind them.
Therefore, a shotgun blast cannot whiz past your head, because i assure you, if someone has a shotgun to your face, there is no such thing as a warning shot, unless it is directed into the air. No way could you judge exactly where each and every piece of buckshot is headed.

Alas, the double barrel shotgun is a very old gun indeed. Nowadays, we have automatic shotguns, which are practically shotguns but they shoot continuously.

For instance, here we have the AA12. Watch this youtube video:

And that's just about all i had to say.

I am not in a mood, i am not taking a dig at anyone, and i'm not pissed. Just so you all know....i re-read this and it kinda sounded like I was annoyed at everyone :/ I'm not, i swear! You're all awesome!

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Really, really good cookies :D

Hey Y'all! Skyril wanted my mum's recipe for awesome chocolate cookies, so here it is. This is in US measures, btw

Bafesda bars (no joke, its what they're called)

2 1/4 C. all purpose flour
1/2 C. white sugar
1 C. packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 C. butter flavored Crisco
2 eggs
2 C. chocolate chips (about 2 handfuls)

1) Preheat the oven to 375 F
2) In a small bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking power, and salt. Set the bowl aside for later
3) In another, larger bowl, beat the Crisco, both kinds of sugar, and the vanilla together until it's a uniform color and fluffy (if you have a stand mixer it makes it a lot easier)
4) Add the eggs and mix in well
5) Gradually add the flour mixture and mix till there are no dry patches
6) Fold in the chocolate chips and mix everything till its is all even and looks good
7) Grease a 15 1/2 x 10 1/2 x 1 cookie sheet (make sure it has sides on it) and pat the dough into the pan, making sure that it's all even
8) Put the pan in the preheated oven and set a timer for 20 to 25 minutes. Bake until the cookies are golden brown and look ready. Use your good judgment ;)
9) Let the cookies cool for a little bit before cutting into squares (as big as you want!)

These taste awesome over vanilla ice-cream!

Sunday, 6 March 2011

The Pink

Hey y'all, a few people have been requesting pictures of my rifle, so here ya go.

My custom painted Marlin 795, given to me as a gift for my 13th birthday.

I'll think up snappy captions later, right now i need to go to my Grammy's house for dinner. Comment please!

Thursday, 3 March 2011

Awesome Derek Landy Picture

Whilst talking on the blog to Mar-Chu she posted a link to a hilarious picture of the Golden God.

I felt that it simply had to be shared with you all.

Isn't that an EPICA picture?

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

The Loss of Hiashiness

This is a second poem for Mary Hiashi. I'm glad you poured out your heart to us and I hope that this counts as a little bit of wisdom from some one else. I believe that this poem will strike a chord with your feelings in some form and help you in some way. Enjoy.

The Loss of Hiashiness

I used to have ambitions
I had hopes and goals and dreams
But my dreams remain unfinished
And my hopes are just extremes.

My wishes are impossible
I long for childish things
And for people to respect me
And to fly with golden wings.

For life it seems so drab and grey
You work then breathe your last
For the future came to nothing
But a wistful broken past.

I used to think I’m special
In a way that I could be
More important than diamonds
More powerful than the sea

But the nightmares overcame me
With my fears and tears and screams
Crushing all of my ambitions
Whilst reality quells my dreams

And I wonder why my family
Ignores my own belief
Why don’t they accept me... well as me?
Why cause me pain and grief.

My soul is shattered
My minds breaks
My body yearns
My heart aches

For you’ve asked the greatest question
Which is simply labelled Why?
What’s the point at all in living
When eventually you die.

For humanity is temporary
And all things end with time
And this knowledge is our burden
We perceive it as a crime

Does the universe have meaning?
Only if you give it one
If nobody appreciates it
Why has it begun?

Nature’s only beautiful
When viewed by human eyes
Unobserved it comes to nothing
As do clouds in endless skies

For life has deeper meaning
We can learn and we can love
We can try to create order
From the chaos far above

Why we live I do not know
But there is fun and laughter
And I don’t think that it matters
To the happily ever after

Life is meant for living
So enjoy its little treasures
Such as humour and surprises
And manifold other pleasures

Such as poetry and literature
And your own imagination
The sunshine and the crystal rain
A starry constellation

So treasure every moment
For life keeps moving on
And the Earth will keep on spinning
Long, long after you are gone

You dream a dream of impossible things
But at least you dream at all
And hope still burns inside you
Though the candle may be small

You are special, you have purpose
And I wish you “Blessed be”
You are loved and you’re befriended
You’re Miss Mary Hiashi
I hope that you see this poem. I would post a link to it on your blog but I can't comment on it for some reason that my computer won't tell me.