Tuesday, 9 August 2011

What do you do?

What do you do when you are so angry with someone but are helpless to change the situation.
One day it seems fine. You feel secure with the friendships you have. The next moment it feels as if the floor has dropped away and you are falling into a deep dark pit.
You find out that you are nothing more then a minor distraction for someone and are easily forgettable. Your feelings on things are played down and the words you had written to a friend are ignored.
You realise how foolish you are to have opened your heart which has only begun to heal from damage inflicted by family and other fake friends: your stupid dumb heart.
You realise that you are just a halfwit who can be easily fooled time and time again.
It's no wonder that a person like that is easily forgotten; a bimbo like me.
So says the epitome of human trash. I'm junk and I just don't care anymore.


  1. *glares at Kal*
    *pours icecold water over her*
    And now STOP trying to convince yourself that you mean nothing to us!

  2. kal u are not trash and u are not a bimbo dont u even DARE say that u are the nicest person EVER and it saddens me that u are feeling unhappy!
    i hope whatever has happened will be resolved soon u are the greatest person ever and dont u forget that!!!
    *hugs her tightly*

  3. Kallista, you really don't get it do you? You really have no idea how any times your gentle, comforting words have helped me through the darkness, and out into the light. If you left this blog, I would probably follow you. Now just because ONE time Mary Hiashi said she forgot the BLOG, not you Kal, doesn't mean you get to leave missy. Oooh no.

  4. Kal, whatever happens, I will love you unconditionally, and I can never repay you for helping me. When I was numb and alone, and sad, and angry, always would you be there. So don't you DARE leave on me.

  5. You have no idea how lucky you are Kal. How many people love you.
    I could go on and on Kal. So cope on. Make the right choices.

  6. I'll find you when the sun goes black.

  7. I've just emailed you. I hope you read it.

    Don't leave us Kallista. We need you here.

    You are not easily forgotten. She did not mean it like that.

    A bimbo? The epitome of human trash? Junk? You are not that. Those words do not ring as Kallista Pendragon.

    What was it that you said to me. "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" You opened your heart and it hurt. But that doesn't mean that it will hurt every time. We keep trying because we're trying to find the gold at the end of the rainbow. Except this is actually possible. Life is going to be filled with shit. But you've just got to get past it and find the other side.

    You are unbelievably wonderful, kind, caring, funny, compassionate, loyal and talented. Anyone who doesn't believe that or tries to tell you otherwise should go stuff themselves.

    You don't mean nothing to us. You mean everything to us.

    And if you've forgotten that- go here.


    Read all of those.

    They're on the email too.

    Don't forget Kallista us. Just like we'll never forget you.

    Please come back.

  8. Oh dear, Kallista, you are everything but trash or forgettable.
    You're a shimmering jewel standing out on the sand at the bottom of a pristine lake on sunny day, flooding the lands with joy, friendship, and love.
    Your soul vibrates waves of beautiful creativity, acceptance, fun, and simple loveliness.
    You are one of the few people I respect so highly. You, my wonderful friend, are as high as the sky and more amazing than than a rainbow after a thundering storm.
    Were it not for you, I would hardly be able to write anything. Kallista, you, is the one that encourages me, day after day, to write! I don't know if I'd have ever started writing anything at all without you, and definitely not poems. here's no way I would have ever written a single word of a poem had you not been there, being your wonderful self.
    We love you Kallista, so much. How could be feel that way if you're, as you say, forgettable trash?
    No, you're not anything like that. Please don't ever let your magnificent mind way you down with such silly thoughts.
    Whoever it was that enticed those ideas to develop in your mind should not be allowed the pleasure of your company.
    Oh, Kallista, I got so worried earlier when I read what you had said that I was wringing my hands and praying desperately for you to come back and be ok and for everyone to leave you alone. I was on the brink of tears and promising a fast which I've never done if you didn't come back. I'm so, so happy to see you commented on the chat a moment ago.
    I pray and hope so very much, my dear friend, that people will stop cutting you down and hurting you. You don't deserve that at all.

    Kallista, thank you for being here, being my friend, and being yourself because you are simply awesome.

  9. Friend is an overused word, my dear. Don't expect everyone to be your friend. Not even if you consider them so. A lot of the friends and people that you meet in your life are only there to help shape you into who you are going to be. It's not a bad thing, just necessary.
    "Necessity is the mother of invention." In this case, shaping Kallista into the wonderful lady that we all know that she is and going to be. Wow, this doesn't sound comforting at all...

    I'm trying to tell you to take your pain to make you stronger. Don't let it warp you, don't let it kill you. If you let it change you, let it change you in the right way.

    One of these days, you'll learn who your true friend is, they say there's only ever one. You'll know who it is, because they'll always be there for you. For now though, we're here for you. Let that be enough. We'll catch ya if you fall. And that, my dear, is a promise.

    ...That was probably one of the worst speeches ever...

    Blessed be,
    Miss Mary Hiashi

    P.S. I really have to work on my emotional helping...speech...thing-a-ma-jigs.

  10. -__- Kal.

    You are awesome. Amazing. Friendly. Kind.

    I do not know any of your friends who do not love you for these unforgettable traits. If there are some, then they are not true friends.

    I'm not sure who. But it doesn't matter about them.

    Kal, you are, without even a sliver of doubt, the heart of these blogs. This is not the first nor last time I will say it.
    If you left...we would crumble. So many would follow and where would we all be then? No-where. Without blogs. Without our friends. Alone.

    It's true. Not an over-reaction, or over-statement.

    You know everyone here. I cannot dream of a person who has forgotten you. Everyone here knows you.
    You always are there to help. Seize a chance for fun. Brighten our lives. Tell us your worries. Take the initiative. We'll stand by you, Kal. We get so much crap outside of the blogs, we NEED to look out for each other here.

    It's weird. You're the last person I'd expect to go, if ever. You're always so dedicated to these blogs, to making friends and keeping us together. You're like the icon for these blogs. When people think about the us, they always remember Kallista, the Beautiful Goddes Queen. XD


  11. Hey everyone. I won't leave ever. But sometimes I just crack and can't take it anymore. Sorry to dump on you all again with my meltdown. I want to be here. Just soemtimes I wish could be invisible.
    MAry. Your words are priceless and I thank you for them. Allexcept for the part with having only one good friend. With all the epicly awesomesause people here, how can there be only one good friend among them? I NEED you all! I will HORD you jelously! You are all GEMS to mee. Even when I want to be invisable and beat up by you all just to be distracted from the pain of my soul and heart I will be here, and will love you all.
    Hellboy. I thank you for your words. You are like a brother to me. I hope you don't mind me saying that.
    Crescent, Skyril, Quinn, Aquila, Mary, and Ayesha. You all have had things inyour own lives that you have had to overcome. Somethings you still have to deal with, How can I leave you when you all have been so brave? I will stay for all your sakes and mine too.
    All of you are far above me in so many ways. A delight to my soul.
    It was good to hear from you Mary. It does me good to hear fromyou.

    *hugs everyone* Thanks you all!!!

  12. Thankyou Kal, for replying. I'm glad you won't leave.
    And no, I don't mind you saying that. Same back to you :)