Friday, 28 January 2011

Three Paragraphs of Confusion

You see, I found a few copies of this paper my brother had written to a friend a long time ago. In this paper of three paragraphs, he's completely flaunting his vocabulary lol. I thought I would let y'all share in my complete bewilderment. :]
This is going to be fun! :P

P.S. I changed the names because... technically, I don't have permission to put this on here. :]

Dear Molly,

      During the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the night in which Cici's become a bedlam set apart for prepubescent wights, Jeremy, our glabrous comrade, espied the message in which you bestowed upon him a thorough tongue-lashing. Your supposition, that he composed the fallacious~and might I add, droll~application, was highly erroneous.
      I, jocular as I am, was weary of the interminably banal happenings. Since the cubicle in which I lave the tableware was in a fine fettle, I capitulated to my more puckish side. I surreptitiously procured a blank application. Taking it from it's erstwhile position, I filled it with a surfeit of fatuous mendacities including ersatz appellations. I did pretend I was hight A|E. Gatir, a fatuous pseudonym, pursuant to my anticipatory  pleasure regarding the eminent nonplussing of one, or both, of the managers atop our current position. Not only were the aforementioned parties addled by my esoteric jest, but you were also beset by befuddlement.
     Since my nom de guerre is A|E. Gatir, 'twould be contradictory to the possible to employ me as a substitute for Jeremy whilst I am already employed with the honorific title of Tableware Decontamination Engineer. Though, if you say I am "more qualified" I will bow to your unerring perception inasmuch as my wan powers of spelling fail me ceaselessly. Also, I do have a hirsute orb atop my neck. I hope my jape has not roiled anyone.

Cornelius Jerusalem Storm

Soon to be
His Excellency, Grand Tyrant of America
Supreme Potentate of the Western World
Power Incarnate
Creator of Pestilence


  1. This was me:

    "'Dear Molly...' OMG! What does 'dear' mean? I'm so lost! Dnjjtfcssjnkuyrwqadgiokbvfjyrfjkbddtyoojmbvcdt!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!"

    Lol... And then I read 'Nocturnal' O.O

    Nah, altho I didn't understand most of the words, I did read on.

    And there's...something else. Do you remember, back in the day, when you first were on Derek's blog, and there was someone called 'inferno-joe'? Well, I don't know if you still remember, but I WAS inferno-Joe, and then I changed my name to Hellboy. BUT if you also remember, there was Insanity Moonshine and Lynith.

    Well, just yesterday, i met Lynith again! :D she was happy to see me and remembers you and Insanity as well! :DDDD

  2. I actually understood that! I feel so smart...Yayeth!

    Not that I'd talk like that...That is FAR too much work...

  3. It makes sense. But it was hard for me to understand. I did it in the end :D

  4. Shouldn't the letter go Dear Molly, Not Dear, Molly?

    I didn't understand many words in that... I'm just counting how many words I did ;)

    Dear, 1, Molly, 2....

  5. LOL That's hilarious!!!!
    This sounds like something my brother would do!

  6. uummm, i probably understood about 2 thirds of that. it's way to much work to write like that. :P lol