Now I know that this show only airs in the UK (probably). But Horrible Histories is a brilliant show that makes history interesting! Well I've always found history fascinating but for those people who don't already love history this show makes history interesting. One of my favourite sketches are The Bob Hale Reports. So I've decided to gather all of them in one place to watch when I want to. I'll update it when new ones come out. And I apologise for the quality of 3 reports but they're the only ones on youtube so they'll have to do.
1. The Roman Report
2. The Stone Age Report
3. The British Empire Report
4. The Viking Report
5. The Crusades Report
6. The Civil War Report
7. The Incan Report
8. The Protestant and Catholic Report
9. The French Revolution Report
10. The Pharoh Report
11. The War of the Roses Report
12. The American Report
13. The Anglo Saxon Report
Isn't he wonderful?
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Monday, 27 June 2011
Blood, Toil, Tears, and Sweat (Especially Sweat)
Blood, Toil, Tears, and Sweat (Especially Sweat)
or The Most Diffuclty I've Ever Had Procuring A Book Series
or The Adventures of Octaboona Alone In The Middle (Almost) Of London
So now I've come up with several titles let me tell you all about today's adventure.
Today I discovered some book vouchers that were left over from my birthday six months ago and decided to spend them. However the nearest book shop that I actually like and which has actual books in it and which is simply amazing is several miles away in the middle (almost) of London. So I took a bus and then the underground to Belsize Park (yes I consider my self far enough away from my house to start giving out locations). Now that I'd done the majority and hardest part of my journey all I had to do was walk for about two minutes to the bookshop. The End.
Or So I Thought....
But then... I'd been walking for 50 minutes and there was still no sign of my beloved bookshop. I realised I was now about 2 miles from the station and I found myself outside Euston station, several stops along the line from Belsize park. Oops. Yes it's only 3 stops away but it seems much longer when you actually walk it. I realised I was lost. So I decided to reverse my route. But what with me being clever and it being boiling hot (31 degrees or there abouts) and not wanting to walk all the way back I decided to take a bus. Yes I was far enough away that there was a whole bus route between me and the bookshop. So on I clambered onto the 268 and relaxed onto the bus (having almost just missed it). The bus took me where I wanted to go and that's the end of that.
Or So I Thought...
When the bus turned left and started moving away from my bookshop I hastily got off the bus and went to the information thingy where I found out I should have taken the 168 not the 268. Oh dear. I was now even more lost than I was before and unsure how to reverse my rouute. I was hot and sweaty and lost. I wondered randomly around until I came out onto the main road that lead back to Belsize Park and trudged wearily along for half an hour until I arrived back at Belsize Park. I looked at the map on the station turned around, and right next to the station, (the actual building next to it) was Daunts Bookshop, my destination. Just as if to add insult to injury, if I'd bothered to turn around originally I'd have found the bookshop in seconds and saved my self a 2 hour goose chase through the middle (almost) of London.
And thus concludes my tale
Or So I Thought...
For although indeed this was A Daunts Bookshop it wasn't THE Daunts Bookshop, but a smaller one with less books in it. So I continued along the road for a few minutes, turned onto a street and found my self somewhere extremely familiar, the hospital I was born in. And that is actually good news for I knew that my beloved Daunts Bookshop was very nearby. I quickly located it, (Finally!) and then spent a happy hour browsing through it (I love browsing.. what can I say?) selected the book series I wanted to buy and then went to pay for it. And Octaboona lived happily ever after.
Or So I Thought...
Upon handing over the book vouchers I realised that half of them were specifically for Waterstones ONLY. As I wasn't in a Waterstones this made them worse than useless. I returned the two books I was unable to pay for ( Out of what currently is a seven book series) reluctantly to their shelves, paid for the five books I could afford and left my beloved bookshop. With a now heavier bag than before entering, I walked along the street in search of a bookshop. Around about 70 shops later I found a Waterstones.
There be absolutely nothing left to worry about.
Or So I Thought...
Upon entering the Waterstones I wondered exactly how much money was on the voucher. Would it be enough for the two remaining books? Apprehensively I went up to the counter and asked how much money there was on it. Well there was enough! Huzzah! Good Luck At Last! There was enough on it for three books. So again I spent an hour and a half browsing through the shelves trying to decide what the third book should be. During this browsing I managed to read the Skulduggery short stories for books 1,2 and 3 before deciding to search for the two books I still neeeded. I searched and searched, asked the staff and random customers (well a random customer) if they knew where they where eventually to be told they were out of stock and should be in tomorrow or a few days afterwards.
Well. I had enough money for the books but the shop hadn't got them in stock opposed to the other beloved bookshop which had them in stock (naturally) but I hadn't enough money to pay for them. Simple solution I hear you cry! Just ask the Waterstones people to take the money off the vouchers in exhange for a cash equivalant and then take the money down to the beloved bookshop which does have the books and buy them!
A fine solution
Or So I Thought...
Turns out the vouchers can't be exchanged for money and must be spent in the shop. Drat. So with a heavy weight in my heart and an even heavier weight hanging off the end of my arm I set off home only to collapse the minute I got into my house from dehydration and heat exhaustion. Without the two missing books in my series.
And that really, finally absolutely is the end of my story.
Or so I thought....
For tomorrow I shall repeat the whole experience (hopefully without getting lost), return to Waterstones and buy those two books which have caused me much blood, toil, tears and sweat (especially sweat), although not the blood. Just toil, tears, and sweat. I just add in the blood for two reasons. First is emphasis and secondly to complete the quote. I mean thats what the quote is. From Winston Churchill himself.
Um sidetracked... Sorry
Yep. Anyway for those who are interested the book series is Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve (I include the prequal books in this series even though it's actually a series in its own right), the two books I was unable to purchase are the last two, Infernal Devices and A Darkling Plain. I mean I've already read them anyway so I'm not sure why I went to so much bother. Maybe because I haven't read the prequal books and it seemed wise to buy the non prequal ones that I've already read whilst doing so.
The other book I brought is called Troubletwisters by Garth Nix and Sean Williams. I know it will be brilliant for Garth Nix is pretty much my favourite author until like a year ago. I still remain undecided on whether Derek Landy is better or not.
Um so yep.
Farewell!!!
or The Most Diffuclty I've Ever Had Procuring A Book Series
or The Adventures of Octaboona Alone In The Middle (Almost) Of London
So now I've come up with several titles let me tell you all about today's adventure.
Today I discovered some book vouchers that were left over from my birthday six months ago and decided to spend them. However the nearest book shop that I actually like and which has actual books in it and which is simply amazing is several miles away in the middle (almost) of London. So I took a bus and then the underground to Belsize Park (yes I consider my self far enough away from my house to start giving out locations). Now that I'd done the majority and hardest part of my journey all I had to do was walk for about two minutes to the bookshop. The End.
Or So I Thought....
But then... I'd been walking for 50 minutes and there was still no sign of my beloved bookshop. I realised I was now about 2 miles from the station and I found myself outside Euston station, several stops along the line from Belsize park. Oops. Yes it's only 3 stops away but it seems much longer when you actually walk it. I realised I was lost. So I decided to reverse my route. But what with me being clever and it being boiling hot (31 degrees or there abouts) and not wanting to walk all the way back I decided to take a bus. Yes I was far enough away that there was a whole bus route between me and the bookshop. So on I clambered onto the 268 and relaxed onto the bus (having almost just missed it). The bus took me where I wanted to go and that's the end of that.
Or So I Thought...
When the bus turned left and started moving away from my bookshop I hastily got off the bus and went to the information thingy where I found out I should have taken the 168 not the 268. Oh dear. I was now even more lost than I was before and unsure how to reverse my rouute. I was hot and sweaty and lost. I wondered randomly around until I came out onto the main road that lead back to Belsize Park and trudged wearily along for half an hour until I arrived back at Belsize Park. I looked at the map on the station turned around, and right next to the station, (the actual building next to it) was Daunts Bookshop, my destination. Just as if to add insult to injury, if I'd bothered to turn around originally I'd have found the bookshop in seconds and saved my self a 2 hour goose chase through the middle (almost) of London.
And thus concludes my tale
Or So I Thought...
For although indeed this was A Daunts Bookshop it wasn't THE Daunts Bookshop, but a smaller one with less books in it. So I continued along the road for a few minutes, turned onto a street and found my self somewhere extremely familiar, the hospital I was born in. And that is actually good news for I knew that my beloved Daunts Bookshop was very nearby. I quickly located it, (Finally!) and then spent a happy hour browsing through it (I love browsing.. what can I say?) selected the book series I wanted to buy and then went to pay for it. And Octaboona lived happily ever after.
Or So I Thought...
Upon handing over the book vouchers I realised that half of them were specifically for Waterstones ONLY. As I wasn't in a Waterstones this made them worse than useless. I returned the two books I was unable to pay for ( Out of what currently is a seven book series) reluctantly to their shelves, paid for the five books I could afford and left my beloved bookshop. With a now heavier bag than before entering, I walked along the street in search of a bookshop. Around about 70 shops later I found a Waterstones.
There be absolutely nothing left to worry about.
Or So I Thought...
Upon entering the Waterstones I wondered exactly how much money was on the voucher. Would it be enough for the two remaining books? Apprehensively I went up to the counter and asked how much money there was on it. Well there was enough! Huzzah! Good Luck At Last! There was enough on it for three books. So again I spent an hour and a half browsing through the shelves trying to decide what the third book should be. During this browsing I managed to read the Skulduggery short stories for books 1,2 and 3 before deciding to search for the two books I still neeeded. I searched and searched, asked the staff and random customers (well a random customer) if they knew where they where eventually to be told they were out of stock and should be in tomorrow or a few days afterwards.
Well. I had enough money for the books but the shop hadn't got them in stock opposed to the other beloved bookshop which had them in stock (naturally) but I hadn't enough money to pay for them. Simple solution I hear you cry! Just ask the Waterstones people to take the money off the vouchers in exhange for a cash equivalant and then take the money down to the beloved bookshop which does have the books and buy them!
A fine solution
Or So I Thought...
Turns out the vouchers can't be exchanged for money and must be spent in the shop. Drat. So with a heavy weight in my heart and an even heavier weight hanging off the end of my arm I set off home only to collapse the minute I got into my house from dehydration and heat exhaustion. Without the two missing books in my series.
And that really, finally absolutely is the end of my story.
Or so I thought....
For tomorrow I shall repeat the whole experience (hopefully without getting lost), return to Waterstones and buy those two books which have caused me much blood, toil, tears and sweat (especially sweat), although not the blood. Just toil, tears, and sweat. I just add in the blood for two reasons. First is emphasis and secondly to complete the quote. I mean thats what the quote is. From Winston Churchill himself.
Um sidetracked... Sorry
Yep. Anyway for those who are interested the book series is Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve (I include the prequal books in this series even though it's actually a series in its own right), the two books I was unable to purchase are the last two, Infernal Devices and A Darkling Plain. I mean I've already read them anyway so I'm not sure why I went to so much bother. Maybe because I haven't read the prequal books and it seemed wise to buy the non prequal ones that I've already read whilst doing so.
The other book I brought is called Troubletwisters by Garth Nix and Sean Williams. I know it will be brilliant for Garth Nix is pretty much my favourite author until like a year ago. I still remain undecided on whether Derek Landy is better or not.
Um so yep.
Farewell!!!
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Pirouetting Butterscotch
Alright-y then! Time for my random post! I mean, how could I possibly resist?? I think everyone should do it every once in a while! Just like everyone should get shot every once in a while 'cause it's good for them!!
;-}
So! This is a list of random things that pop into my mind as I write them!
Hope
Trust
Pixie dust!
Hellboy
Greenland
Helvetica
Scottish ale
Horseshoes?
Ugly
Alien bombs
Pink pointing sticks
Rollercoasters and butterflies
Train thoughts are funny
I hate heat
Boxes with tangled string
An image of Lassi from Psych
I'm sensing something!!
Yeah... I forgot what it was
PINK UNICORNS!!!
Shiny moon-milk, Batman!
Aaaand that's the end of that! Now you've seen a glimpse of my absurd mind...
Moving on...
How about a picture??
Yes?
Alright-y then!
Ok, now for my 37 page synopsis of how Susie X died!!
Wait... what?
Oh, it's random, hilarious video time?
Oh, ok then! I'm sorry, folks, but you'll have to do without my imaginary synopsis of whomever Susie X is... I wonder if there really IS such a person... anyway! With this video, ye shall furthermore understand the hilarity of saying "galoshes" during a quite moment whilst waiting for a bus... or some such as that.
~calm, quit, annoying classical radio channel voice~
And that, my friends, concludes the great performance of "Bulbous Bouffant," which was created by the Vestibules at some point in time....
~drops the irritating voice~
DId you know that "om nom nom" was originally started by the Cookie Monster of Seseme Street? Tis true! That blue [he is blue, isn't he?] nommed his cookies and the meme spread across the universe like magic on the fluffy and furry wings of destiny!
... yes....
More pictures!
And now an image that holds some very serious advice!
The next thing I'm gonna talk about is cats. Now I know you all think cats are evil but-
Well.... yeah, but I mean-
... I know that looks kinda bad, still-
That cat can't Really snipe, I mean seriously ...ha ha-
... Fiiiiine! some cats are evil! I get it already-
... Umm w-wow... I think I'm gonna change the subject now... yes, indeed-y! The Subject it now being changed! No more kitty pictures now!
~clears throat~
The process of photosynthesis begins-
~groans heard everywhere~
Well I have to say SOMETHING educational on here beside the meme thing, don't I?
... I really don't?
Hurray!!!
Huzzah!
Cheers!
Yay!
Lollipops for everyone!
;-}
So! This is a list of random things that pop into my mind as I write them!
Hope
Trust
Pixie dust!
Hellboy
Greenland
Helvetica
Scottish ale
Horseshoes?
Ugly
Alien bombs
Pink pointing sticks
Rollercoasters and butterflies
Train thoughts are funny
I hate heat
Boxes with tangled string
An image of Lassi from Psych
I'm sensing something!!
Yeah... I forgot what it was
PINK UNICORNS!!!
Shiny moon-milk, Batman!
Aaaand that's the end of that! Now you've seen a glimpse of my absurd mind...
Moving on...
How about a picture??
Yes?
Alright-y then!
 |
| I call this one.... DAVID AND THE LLAMA! |
Ok, now for my 37 page synopsis of how Susie X died!!
Wait... what?
Oh, it's random, hilarious video time?
Oh, ok then! I'm sorry, folks, but you'll have to do without my imaginary synopsis of whomever Susie X is... I wonder if there really IS such a person... anyway! With this video, ye shall furthermore understand the hilarity of saying "galoshes" during a quite moment whilst waiting for a bus... or some such as that.
~calm, quit, annoying classical radio channel voice~
And that, my friends, concludes the great performance of "Bulbous Bouffant," which was created by the Vestibules at some point in time....
~drops the irritating voice~
DId you know that "om nom nom" was originally started by the Cookie Monster of Seseme Street? Tis true! That blue [he is blue, isn't he?] nommed his cookies and the meme spread across the universe like magic on the fluffy and furry wings of destiny!
... yes....
More pictures!
 |
| Ahhh yes, indeed! It took me three years to master this skill of amazing death and destruction that could potentially destroy the world at some point for some reason or other... |
And now an image that holds some very serious advice!
 | ||||
| Wow... this is just.... it's just so DEEP, man!! |
The next thing I'm gonna talk about is cats. Now I know you all think cats are evil but-
Well.... yeah, but I mean-
... I know that looks kinda bad, still-
That cat can't Really snipe, I mean seriously ...ha ha-
... Fiiiiine! some cats are evil! I get it already-
... Umm w-wow... I think I'm gonna change the subject now... yes, indeed-y! The Subject it now being changed! No more kitty pictures now!
~clears throat~
The process of photosynthesis begins-
~groans heard everywhere~
Well I have to say SOMETHING educational on here beside the meme thing, don't I?
... I really don't?
Hurray!!!
Huzzah!
Cheers!
Yay!
Lollipops for everyone!
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
The Oblong Hamster of Tenochtitlan
Well I welcome you all to another random blog post! Huzzah!
Today I will be performing the world renound Aztec play "The Oblong Hamster of Tenochtitlan!"
Or I would if the last surving copy hadn't been eaten by an umbrella turtle.
*umbrella turtle snaps angrily at the bits of chewed up paper*
Maybe I should distract it with a picture.
Today I will be performing the world renound Aztec play "The Oblong Hamster of Tenochtitlan!"
Or I would if the last surving copy hadn't been eaten by an umbrella turtle.
*umbrella turtle snaps angrily at the bits of chewed up paper*
Maybe I should distract it with a picture.
The angry Umbrella Turtle
Yes! It's a picture of you!
*umbrella turtle gazes at it entranced whilst Octa slowly backs away*
Now where was I?
Oh yes. As consolation for no Aztecian play I shall show you an amusing yet educational video!
EDUCATIONAL VIDEO COMMENCE!
So now you know all the kings and queens of England! It may be vital information that could save your life in what would probably be a rather bizarre situation if it actually did have to save you.
I wonder what that situation would be.
Maybe you could suggest some in the comments.
Anway what next?
A short history of absolutely everything?
A medium sized history of absolutely everything?
A really long, stupendously gigantic history of everything?
Maybe a history that lasts as long as HISTORY ITSELF!
No wait! I have it!
I shall give you no history of everything!
*celebrations occur somewhere in Antartica*
Random picture time!
It's a hedgehog cactus. A pink one.
And now.....
For something....
About today...
On this day 45 years ago in 1966 The Vatican abolished its 467 year old list of prohibited books! Yay! No more prohibited books! Humanity has reached the pinnacle of Octaboonaness! Or something! I like books! DON'T BAN THEM!
*screams and is pulled of stage by men in a white van*
But I haven't finished yet! I haven't put in something about the Treaty of Mozhaysk! What blog post would possibly be complete with out it!
*men in white van relucantly agree*
On with the post!
The Treaty of Mozhaysk was a Danish- Russian treaty signed on the 7th August 1562 during the Livonian War. Twas signed by Frederick II of Denmark and Ivan IV of the Russian Tzardom and it was utterly insignificant probably. Well that's all I know about it. I don't actually know what was in the treaty or what the Livonian War was to be honest. But I'm sure that this is satisfactory and far more interesting than The Oblong Hamster of Tenochtitlan.
Hmmm......
A short interlude by my pet rock whilst I search for alligators on the moon.
Pet rock: ........
Some time later:
Pet rock: ...........
*pet rock falls out of a inconviently placed bottlenosed dolphin*
I'm back!
Wasn't rock so elegant and exquisite! Thank you for those words.
Pet rock: ..............
The turtle umbrella bids you all a Merry World Blood Donor Day
*turtle umbrella licks lips*
Feeeeeed meeeeeee!
Qazijex Tootle Inkelvoom
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Prodigious Watermelon Soap
I wish to alert the masses that this day of June 8th has been nominated National Day of Peculiar Weather...
That is all.
That is all.
Monday, 6 June 2011
Rice Coagulates Happiness
It's great fun thinking up random titles. Thanks to Mary Hiashi for introducing this concept.
This blog post is in no way about rice, happiness or coagulation (although maybe I should make a post some time about yoghurt production).
No this post was created just because of that title.
I now have to fill this post up with something.
The Life Cycle of a Penguin perhaps?
What actually is metathasis?
An introduction to Biblical Hebraic Grammar?
All fascinating topics. But maybe another time.
Maybe I should put in a picture.
This blog post is in no way about rice, happiness or coagulation (although maybe I should make a post some time about yoghurt production).
No this post was created just because of that title.
I now have to fill this post up with something.
The Life Cycle of a Penguin perhaps?
What actually is metathasis?
An introduction to Biblical Hebraic Grammar?
All fascinating topics. But maybe another time.
Maybe I should put in a picture.
Isn't it beautiful?
Well now what should I do?
I could end the post but it's more fun to continue to just improvise, displaying the random thought processes of me.
But since I'm running out of ideas I shall consult wikipedia.... or post a video.... Hmmmm
OK. Video first I think.
Off to youtube!
Well I for one found it amusing. Should Hitler videos be allowed to be funny? Interesting debate that. Maybe I have a very bizarre sense of humour. Maybe I've just offended you all and am going to be hunted down and excommunicated from the blog. Maybe this post is pointless and very timewasting.
Meh.
Oh yes. Wikipedia. But wait... what about a funny picture of Derek Landy. Just look at that hair.
I've never seen the top of Golden God's head before.
And now for something completely different!
On this day in 1984 Tetris was released for the first time. There. I got that from Wikipedia.
Um... conclusion. How does one conclude this anyway.
Happy June!
THE END
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
*Darth Vader will speak to you now*
"Rice Coagulates Happiness"
Thankyou Mr Vader for those um.. wise and interesting words.
Long Live the Dragon Boat Festival! Apparently its today.
I'll go research it later.
Well I'll conclude with a question maybe.
What did you all think of A Good Man Goes to War?
This question will most likely only make sense to Whovians.
I know you're out there Whovians!
I personally really enjoyed it.
But did you?
Monday, 30 May 2011
You will never see this sort of thing happen again
Ok, so here's the deal. Me and my dad are driving back from an Appleseed on one of those little back roads that twist and turn and go all over the place. I've been on my feet since 6AM and am hot, sweaty, and covered in bug spray, so you can image I'm in a lovely mood :P
So I'm in the passenger seat with my window down and my dad is driving and we're just going along, talking about the shoot and how it went and such when all of a sudden we hear this god awful noise. It sounded like a little kid was getting murdered and for a second I thought my dad had run someone over. I look out my window trying to find what made that noise (it was LOUD) and standing in the driveway of some dude's house is peacock. An honest to god PEACOCK.
It was all puffed up and its tail feathers were all spread out like you see in books and it watched as we drove by. I grabbed the camera and dad turned the truck around so we could take some pictures.
I always thought peacocks were about the size of chickens or maybe a bit bigger, but this guy was huge! He must have been eight feet from head to tail. And he screamed again as we were driving away, man that thing is LOUD! It had my ears ringing, literally.
And now to raise the question, where do you get a peacock anyways?
So I'm in the passenger seat with my window down and my dad is driving and we're just going along, talking about the shoot and how it went and such when all of a sudden we hear this god awful noise. It sounded like a little kid was getting murdered and for a second I thought my dad had run someone over. I look out my window trying to find what made that noise (it was LOUD) and standing in the driveway of some dude's house is peacock. An honest to god PEACOCK.
It was all puffed up and its tail feathers were all spread out like you see in books and it watched as we drove by. I grabbed the camera and dad turned the truck around so we could take some pictures.
 |
| By the time we turned around it wasn't puffed up anymore |
 |
| LOL, that license plate is so funny XD |
I always thought peacocks were about the size of chickens or maybe a bit bigger, but this guy was huge! He must have been eight feet from head to tail. And he screamed again as we were driving away, man that thing is LOUD! It had my ears ringing, literally.
And now to raise the question, where do you get a peacock anyways?
Friday, 27 May 2011
Those Who Value Kallista's Friendship
To make sure Skyril's comment is widely known I am reposting it here.
EVERYONE!!!
LOOK AT THIS COMMENT!
GO to your blogs and post a plea to Kallista's parents to let her come on as she did before. Tell them what you think of her and tell them how great she is. Get all the blogs in Blogland posting some such as I have said. I hope they will see it. I don't know that they will, but all we can do is hope and post our thoughts of our dear friend Kallista Pendragon!
Do it as soon as possible and let anyone that has not seen this know of this plan.
LOOK AT THIS COMMENT!
GO to your blogs and post a plea to Kallista's parents to let her come on as she did before. Tell them what you think of her and tell them how great she is. Get all the blogs in Blogland posting some such as I have said. I hope they will see it. I don't know that they will, but all we can do is hope and post our thoughts of our dear friend Kallista Pendragon!
Do it as soon as possible and let anyone that has not seen this know of this plan.
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Just Wondering
I was wondering since this became a communal thing if we shouldn't allow some of the other bloogers to post.
But it would ruin the name and it would end up like The Four Elementals (which has 5 people in it).
And people like Valkyrie would laugh at our inability to count and such.
But what do you all think?
But it would ruin the name and it would end up like The Four Elementals (which has 5 people in it).
And people like Valkyrie would laugh at our inability to count and such.
But what do you all think?
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
The Blogger's Epic Dictionary
<<<<<<<<<Look over here :D
But once you've done looking, scroll down and read the epic Sherlock Holmes fanfic that was done by a person on Deviant Art. Jaaaaam....zombiesssss.....
But once you've done looking, scroll down and read the epic Sherlock Holmes fanfic that was done by a person on Deviant Art. Jaaaaam....zombiesssss.....
Monday, 23 May 2011
The Jam Tastes a Bit Funny by ~Dalek-Pants
Skyril talking here,
Ok, folks, the following is the story [which I think y'all'll very much like :3] that I mentioned that sounded like something one of you would write. It's written by an author and artist on DeviantArt whose username is
Dalek-Pants
:] The above is also a link to her profile which houses her gallery, if you want to check it out :3
Okie-dokie then, on with the story! :]
John plopped down on the couch, exhausted to the point of "I don't care where I just sat down and I'm not moving for another good three hours." After all, a day of chasing down a gang of Moriarty's men, locating a missing toothpick engraved with a secret military code, and asking various shopkeepers if they had seen a man with a toupee and a curly-Q mustache does that to a person.
"Beep! Beep! Beep!", went his phone, which happened to be conveniently located on the other side of the room, beside Sherlock's skull.
John cursed everyone, internally, mind you, as he stood up to receive the probably-life-or-death-matter text message.
"Don't forget to put the milk into the refrigerator from the sink.
-SH"
Slumping to the kitchen, John sighed melodramatically mid-step and continued on his long, winding journey toward the fridge. Wait- what was that? A… jar of jam? Raspberry? His favorite! Yes, yes, he should probably get on with the milk and all, but hey. Jam. John had his priorities in order, after all.
Fast-forward twenty minutes. John is sitting on the couch, buried in empty jam jars. Multiple blobs of raspberry substance covered the floor, topped with several hundred jar tops. He was viciously attacking a spoon which had previously adhered to one of the jars, therefore making it impossible for John to eat.
John could always use his hands, but come on, manners.
Wait-this jar. This particular jar. Something about it tasted not quite right. At this point, you may want to remind yourself that John was sharing a flat with a man who keeps human heads in the fridge and eyeballs in the microwave. Keep in mind, however, that John had just consumed about seventy pounds of jam, which may or may not have contained sugar.
John didn't care. Nothing mattered. Only jam.
Again, sugar.
Somewhere, halfway across London, Sherlock froze. Something was wrong, he could tell. Thinking back to recent events of importance, his mind raced, trying to remember a fact, a detail, anything, which might explain this new, unreasonable worry.
Hmm, what was it, maybe those new "herbal soothers" of Mrs. Hudson's? No, John had no use for those. Possibly the small army of poison dart frogs he had kept locked up under the floorboards? No, no, definitely not, come on, what was it!
Oh. Oh. Oh god. Oh god, no. The Jam. The Jam that he, himself, Sherlock, had injected with chemicals known for causing the man unlucky enough to have contact with it in any manner, for whatever reason, to develop a permanent love for The Jam. Not only that, but the love would multiply. And multiply, and multiply, until the victim had turned into a mindless jam zombie. The only thing the victim would want, for the rest of his life, would be jam. Nothing else, not adventure, not danger, not even unresolved sexual tension.
Nothing.
Grabbing his coat, Sherlock rushed out of the morgue, nearly jumped over a very startled Molly, almost bumped into her cat who for some reason was at the morgue with Molly, stole a car from one of Moriarty's men (Sherlock didn't have a car, it was always much easier to take one from Moriarty when need be, as he had spies situated everywhere, and if you doubt Sherlock's breaking-into-a-car skills by this point, well.), and was over at 221B Baker Street in less than fifteen minutes.
Banging the door open, Sherlock rushed into the room, his giant coat flapping dramatically, probably set to "Jam Zombie Movie Mode." John was sitting on the couch watching re-runs of some old reality show about an old woman who claimed that she had been her own parakeet in a past life.
"John! Are you okay? Are. Are you. Are you alright? Where's the jam! What happened Everything is starting to turn purple, isn't it!"
Sherlock looked around, noticing the jam-covered floor. Even a third grader could decuce what that meant. Holding on to the doorframe for support, he slumped down, in a sort of trance.
"There's not much time left, John. Soon, the chemicals will start acting up, and you'll become on of the jam zombies. The mindless, jam-eating dead.
John looked around, startled. He remembered the odd jar that had tasted a bit like an infusion of fruit and pasta salad, and stared, shocked, at his flatmate. This kind of thing wasn't unusual, you see, so John didn't yell, or panic, or scream. Instead, he just stood there, accepting his fate.
Ten minutes later, Sherlock snapped back into awareness, all trances of his comatose state gone. He could see "John", or the thing that had been John, sitting on the couch, staring mindlessly at his laptop.
The thing's head snapped up.
"Oh, hey, Sherlock, I don't know what happened, but for some reason, I'm just. here. Like this. Normal! Nothing's wrong, I'm fine! I honestly have no idea what's been going on, but, heh, yeah. I'm alright!"
"John...", Sherlock inquired, skeptically. "Did you feel any change at all after eating the jam? Besides the strange taste, I mean.
Seeing as how John shook his head, Sherlock's eyes widened in wonder as he realized the inevitable truth.
"John.. there is no possible way that your body could have completely ignores the chemicals. Unless, it was already used to them, and didn't have much need to alert you that their number has, in fact, expanded. You've been like this for a while, John. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but for as long as I have known you, and probably longer, you were, already, a jam zombie."
Sherlock looked positively fascinated.
"We'll start the lab testing tomorrow. And in the meantime, John, please try to eat as many jars of jam as possible, for science, as it would benefit my studies tremendously."
At that moment, the world shattered a bit from the high-pitched squeal which was emitted from John Watson's general direction.
Ok, folks, the following is the story [which I think y'all'll very much like :3] that I mentioned that sounded like something one of you would write. It's written by an author and artist on DeviantArt whose username is
Dalek-Pants
:] The above is also a link to her profile which houses her gallery, if you want to check it out :3
Okie-dokie then, on with the story! :]
John plopped down on the couch, exhausted to the point of "I don't care where I just sat down and I'm not moving for another good three hours." After all, a day of chasing down a gang of Moriarty's men, locating a missing toothpick engraved with a secret military code, and asking various shopkeepers if they had seen a man with a toupee and a curly-Q mustache does that to a person.
"Beep! Beep! Beep!", went his phone, which happened to be conveniently located on the other side of the room, beside Sherlock's skull.
John cursed everyone, internally, mind you, as he stood up to receive the probably-life-or-death-matter text message.
"Don't forget to put the milk into the refrigerator from the sink.
-SH"
Slumping to the kitchen, John sighed melodramatically mid-step and continued on his long, winding journey toward the fridge. Wait- what was that? A… jar of jam? Raspberry? His favorite! Yes, yes, he should probably get on with the milk and all, but hey. Jam. John had his priorities in order, after all.
Fast-forward twenty minutes. John is sitting on the couch, buried in empty jam jars. Multiple blobs of raspberry substance covered the floor, topped with several hundred jar tops. He was viciously attacking a spoon which had previously adhered to one of the jars, therefore making it impossible for John to eat.
John could always use his hands, but come on, manners.
Wait-this jar. This particular jar. Something about it tasted not quite right. At this point, you may want to remind yourself that John was sharing a flat with a man who keeps human heads in the fridge and eyeballs in the microwave. Keep in mind, however, that John had just consumed about seventy pounds of jam, which may or may not have contained sugar.
John didn't care. Nothing mattered. Only jam.
Again, sugar.
Somewhere, halfway across London, Sherlock froze. Something was wrong, he could tell. Thinking back to recent events of importance, his mind raced, trying to remember a fact, a detail, anything, which might explain this new, unreasonable worry.
Hmm, what was it, maybe those new "herbal soothers" of Mrs. Hudson's? No, John had no use for those. Possibly the small army of poison dart frogs he had kept locked up under the floorboards? No, no, definitely not, come on, what was it!
Oh. Oh. Oh god. Oh god, no. The Jam. The Jam that he, himself, Sherlock, had injected with chemicals known for causing the man unlucky enough to have contact with it in any manner, for whatever reason, to develop a permanent love for The Jam. Not only that, but the love would multiply. And multiply, and multiply, until the victim had turned into a mindless jam zombie. The only thing the victim would want, for the rest of his life, would be jam. Nothing else, not adventure, not danger, not even unresolved sexual tension.
Nothing.
Grabbing his coat, Sherlock rushed out of the morgue, nearly jumped over a very startled Molly, almost bumped into her cat who for some reason was at the morgue with Molly, stole a car from one of Moriarty's men (Sherlock didn't have a car, it was always much easier to take one from Moriarty when need be, as he had spies situated everywhere, and if you doubt Sherlock's breaking-into-a-car skills by this point, well.), and was over at 221B Baker Street in less than fifteen minutes.
Banging the door open, Sherlock rushed into the room, his giant coat flapping dramatically, probably set to "Jam Zombie Movie Mode." John was sitting on the couch watching re-runs of some old reality show about an old woman who claimed that she had been her own parakeet in a past life.
"John! Are you okay? Are. Are you. Are you alright? Where's the jam! What happened Everything is starting to turn purple, isn't it!"
Sherlock looked around, noticing the jam-covered floor. Even a third grader could decuce what that meant. Holding on to the doorframe for support, he slumped down, in a sort of trance.
"There's not much time left, John. Soon, the chemicals will start acting up, and you'll become on of the jam zombies. The mindless, jam-eating dead.
John looked around, startled. He remembered the odd jar that had tasted a bit like an infusion of fruit and pasta salad, and stared, shocked, at his flatmate. This kind of thing wasn't unusual, you see, so John didn't yell, or panic, or scream. Instead, he just stood there, accepting his fate.
Ten minutes later, Sherlock snapped back into awareness, all trances of his comatose state gone. He could see "John", or the thing that had been John, sitting on the couch, staring mindlessly at his laptop.
The thing's head snapped up.
"Oh, hey, Sherlock, I don't know what happened, but for some reason, I'm just. here. Like this. Normal! Nothing's wrong, I'm fine! I honestly have no idea what's been going on, but, heh, yeah. I'm alright!"
"John...", Sherlock inquired, skeptically. "Did you feel any change at all after eating the jam? Besides the strange taste, I mean.
Seeing as how John shook his head, Sherlock's eyes widened in wonder as he realized the inevitable truth.
"John.. there is no possible way that your body could have completely ignores the chemicals. Unless, it was already used to them, and didn't have much need to alert you that their number has, in fact, expanded. You've been like this for a while, John. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but for as long as I have known you, and probably longer, you were, already, a jam zombie."
Sherlock looked positively fascinated.
"We'll start the lab testing tomorrow. And in the meantime, John, please try to eat as many jars of jam as possible, for science, as it would benefit my studies tremendously."
At that moment, the world shattered a bit from the high-pitched squeal which was emitted from John Watson's general direction.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Interesting info
This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years.
This year we're going to experience four unusual dates.
1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that's not all...
Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born - now add the age you will be this year,
The results will be 111 for everyone in whole world.
This year we're going to experience four unusual dates.
1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that's not all...
Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born - now add the age you will be this year,
The results will be 111 for everyone in whole world.
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Elizabeth Sladen
On the 19th April 2011 Elizabeth Sladen passed away from cancer aged 63. Best known for portraying Sarah Jane Smith in Doctor Who and the Sarah Jane Adventures she will be missed by many people all over the world. I was devastated when I heard the news and have only recently started to come to terms with the loss. So here is my tribute to Sarah Jane.
Elizabeth Sladen A.K.A Sarah Jane Smith
Elizabeth first played Sarah Jane in 1973 as companion to the Third Doctor. She remained companion to the Fourth Doctor until 1976 and returned for the 20th anniversary episode 'The Five Doctors' .
A favourite companion of many she returned to the new series alongside Tenth Doctor David Tennant in the episode School Reunion (2006) and was a main part of the end of Series 4 finale 'The Stolen Earth/Journey's End. She also featured in David Tenant's last episode 'The End of Time'.
Liz was so successful and memorable that she was given her own spin off series 'The Sarah Jane Adventures' which ran for four series until her death part way through the filming of a fifth series. Both the 10th and 11th Doctor's had an episode in this programme.
Sarah Jane in the Episode Planet of Evil 1975
Sarah Jane and K9
Sarah Jane and the Tenth Doctor
Sarah Jane, Eleventh Doctor and Jo Grant
Cast of Sarah Jane Adventures
Almost phophetically the last episode Elizabeth Sladen acted in was called 'Goodbye Sarah Jane Smith'.
So I want us all to remember the memorable person that was Elizabeth Sladen.
R.I.P
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Easter Eggs :3
Yay! Easter is tomorrow! That means eating jellybeans till I'm sick, visiting my family, and throwing eggs at my brother (plastic eggs of course) So here are the Easter egg is decorated (shut up, i'm not to old to decorate eggs)
This is Kallista's egg, sorry it isn't a bit more complicated, I didn't have the rubber cement on hand. But it is purple ;)
There are three ninjas on this egg, can you find them?
Gasp! A ninja
Yeah, I was getting lazy... orz
Kawaii is Japanese for cute ^^ just so you know
This one took bloody forever...
Sorry Hellboy, Australia turned out a bit lumpy shaped^^;
Yeah I was getting bored and tired
I hope everyone enjoys their Easter! Have fun and God bless :D
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Derek Landy is even more Awesome!
Well since I posted I remembered Derek answered a lot of questions Rosella asked...
Rosella asked some questions... a LOT...
whats with this hannah foley kid?
Hannah Foley is the name of a girl I met when the first book was released, who asked if she could be mentioned in the next one. She was the first person to ask this…!
what is the first/last names (taken) for the following people? craven quiver dusk caelan moloch melovent meritorious bliss? Is it like a vamp thing that they only have one name?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
Can you PLEASE make a charachter called Rosella Embers? she doesnt have to be main, but just mentioning her would mean so much to me and make me faint. i'm not even kidding!
I’ll TRY to mention her…!
A little tip of advice: i think your loosing your sense of humor a bit. liven it up more!
Yes dear.
Have i told you that you are so incredibly awesome?
Don’t worry, I tell myself that every single day.
What made you choose gefforey Scrutinous as the character competition winner?
He was the most useful, and the one who fit the best. A lot of the character suggestions were hugely powerful people- or “game-changers”, as I call them. Basically, if they were introduced, they’d be so powerful that they could do ANYTHING, and they’d wreck the books…!
i dont get it. is wreath in hiding or dead? and is crux dead and china's hiding the murder?
SPOILERS! Wreath’s alive. Crux is dead. China’s hiding it.
what suburbs around dublin do u live in cuz i have a friend on the outskirts of dublin.
I live in North County Dublin. That’s all I’m saying!
who was skul-mans other partner/ the one who died a messy death? and will we hear more about him?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
how old exactly is skul-man?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
CAN YOU READ MY FANFIC!? http://rosellafanfic.blogspot.com/
Unfortunately, I only read fanfic at Christmas- it’s the only time I allow myself to do it! WILL WE HEAR MORE ABOUT GHASTLY'S MOTHER?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
is finbar mad or what?
You’ll see...
why was skul-man at gordons house that night?
He was looking out for Val- or Stephanie, as she was back then.
whats going to happen with crystal and carol now they know about magic?
You’ll see...
with the movie, is it going to be animation or real?
If it’s made, it’ll be live action, not animation.
how did melovent die?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
is gordon edgley kind of like you, the best EVER author, witty, funny, awards as paperweights...
Heh. Gordon is a lot more cuddly than I am. Though I do have my moments.
Hi!
Er… hi…!
does only sorcerers have true names?
Nope, everyone does.
how does skul-mans facade work? does it cover only his face or his whole body?
Just covers his face.
whats fletchs life story? will we find out?
I haven’t decided that.
who's dexter vex? will we meet him?
Dexter’s one of the Dead Men, and yes, we’ll be meeting him sometime over the next four books.
why did dusk owe Baron Vengeous?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
who's eliza scorn?
All will be revealed in Book 6.
in book six, pg 154, tanith says, "they called them the dead men because they went on suicide missions and always came back alive." then skul says "not all of us," does that mean him or someone else?
Both!
why doesnt skul have a license? was it because hes a skeleton? i would of thought they would have a sorcerers test or something.
What kind of license are you talking about…?
SPOILER FOR MORTAL COIL *bottom lip trembles* why did you kill kenspeckle? who will patch up skul and val now? but as Nyx Dawn and i was chatting about, you, master, only kill off people for a reason. why?
Some people have to DIE. The fact is, we’re hurtling towards the last trilogy, where plot threads and strands will be tied up, and some characters will come to their end.
Master Derek, have you ever had a mosquito in your room all night and it buzzes in your ear and stings you all night and you never get to sleep, and when you do, you wake up comlpetly exhaused? has that happened to you or is it just me?
Mosquitoes aren’t that common in Ireland…
whats with this hannah foley kid?
Hannah Foley is the name of a girl I met when the first book was released, who asked if she could be mentioned in the next one. She was the first person to ask this…!
what is the first/last names (taken) for the following people? craven quiver dusk caelan moloch melovent meritorious bliss? Is it like a vamp thing that they only have one name?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
Can you PLEASE make a charachter called Rosella Embers? she doesnt have to be main, but just mentioning her would mean so much to me and make me faint. i'm not even kidding!
I’ll TRY to mention her…!
A little tip of advice: i think your loosing your sense of humor a bit. liven it up more!
Yes dear.
Have i told you that you are so incredibly awesome?
Don’t worry, I tell myself that every single day.
What made you choose gefforey Scrutinous as the character competition winner?
He was the most useful, and the one who fit the best. A lot of the character suggestions were hugely powerful people- or “game-changers”, as I call them. Basically, if they were introduced, they’d be so powerful that they could do ANYTHING, and they’d wreck the books…!
i dont get it. is wreath in hiding or dead? and is crux dead and china's hiding the murder?
SPOILERS! Wreath’s alive. Crux is dead. China’s hiding it.
what suburbs around dublin do u live in cuz i have a friend on the outskirts of dublin.
I live in North County Dublin. That’s all I’m saying!
who was skul-mans other partner/ the one who died a messy death? and will we hear more about him?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
how old exactly is skul-man?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
CAN YOU READ MY FANFIC!? http://rosellafanfic.blogspot.com/
Unfortunately, I only read fanfic at Christmas- it’s the only time I allow myself to do it!
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
is finbar mad or what?
You’ll see...
why was skul-man at gordons house that night?
He was looking out for Val- or Stephanie, as she was back then.
whats going to happen with crystal and carol now they know about magic?
You’ll see...
with the movie, is it going to be animation or real?
If it’s made, it’ll be live action, not animation.
how did melovent die?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
is gordon edgley kind of like you, the best EVER author, witty, funny, awards as paperweights...
Heh. Gordon is a lot more cuddly than I am. Though I do have my moments.
Hi!
Er… hi…!
does only sorcerers have true names?
Nope, everyone does.
how does skul-mans facade work? does it cover only his face or his whole body?
Just covers his face.
whats fletchs life story? will we find out?
I haven’t decided that.
who's dexter vex? will we meet him?
Dexter’s one of the Dead Men, and yes, we’ll be meeting him sometime over the next four books.
why did dusk owe Baron Vengeous?
This will either be revealed in the books or not at all.
who's eliza scorn?
All will be revealed in Book 6.
in book six, pg 154, tanith says, "they called them the dead men because they went on suicide missions and always came back alive." then skul says "not all of us," does that mean him or someone else?
Both!
why doesnt skul have a license? was it because hes a skeleton? i would of thought they would have a sorcerers test or something.
What kind of license are you talking about…?
SPOILER FOR MORTAL COIL *bottom lip trembles* why did you kill kenspeckle? who will patch up skul and val now? but as Nyx Dawn and i was chatting about, you, master, only kill off people for a reason. why?
Some people have to DIE. The fact is, we’re hurtling towards the last trilogy, where plot threads and strands will be tied up, and some characters will come to their end.
Master Derek, have you ever had a mosquito in your room all night and it buzzes in your ear and stings you all night and you never get to sleep, and when you do, you wake up comlpetly exhaused? has that happened to you or is it just me?
Mosquitoes aren’t that common in Ireland…
So yes.... there will probably be a third post coming up of random questions/comments from Derek. Maybe.
Derek Landy Is Awesome
Indeed he is. About a month ago I asked Derek 64 questions. Today on the blog...
Derek Landy said...
Octa's questions:
1. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it?
I think it’s Joseph, but I could be wrong. It could be Garrett. I’m not sure. Derek isn’t even my real name, it’s just one that I’ve been using since I was born.
2. Did you know Derek Landy is an anagram of Deryn Dalek? (I’m odd I know)
I did know that, actually. It’s one of my favourite facts.
3. What is Desmond Edgley’s true name?
Don’t know! He doesn’t know either!
4. Is Mevolent truly dead? (The same way Lord Vile was believed to be dead but isn’t). Will he return?
Mevolent is dead. Anything more than that, I can’t say for certain.
5. Does Kenspeckle have a brother?
He used to, but he died years ago.
6. How did the Faceless Ones arrive on Earth in the first place?
That’s one of the great mysteries of the world…
7. Will you give us a random (it can be irrelevant but must be TRUE) fact about Book 8?
Book 8??? Good God… No, I don’t think I can, not until I solidify the final trilogy in my head.
8. How did Oisin die?
He fell over a bucket.
9. Have you written yourself out of the proverbial corner of the powerful Jitter Girls yet?
Oh yes. There’s only one person who could possibly defeat the Jitter Girls… mwahaha...
10. What day is your birthday? (More specific than October please!).
October 23rd- the same day (though obviously not the same YEAR) that Skulduggery died.
11. How does it feel to be the Golden God of thousands of little minion-y fans?
It feels overwhelmingly right.
12. Have you decided who to dedicate the remaining 4 books to? How about us minions?
I know exactly who the next four will be dedicated to- and I’m not saying!
13. What magical powers would Crystal and Carol have when they reached 21 (if they are able to do magic).
That all depends if they decided to be Adept or Elemental...
14. What is Valkyrie’s address?
Haggard!
15. Is Haggard a real town?
It’s a combination of Rush, Lusk and Skerries in North County Dublin- mostly Rush.
16. How on earth are you going to torture Tanith now she is inhabited by a remnant? What could be worse? Because you do intend to torture her in each book yes?
I don’t think there COULD be anything worse than her current state, so she might be safe from me for a while.
17. Will you write a prequel series?
No. I thought about it, but couldn’t find the enthusiasm.
18. What was the last thing Skulduggery ever ate?
Steak. Mmmmmm steak...
19. How did Beryl react when she discovered the brooch was missing?
I don’t think she’s actually noticed yet…!
20. The series seems to be composed of “trilogies”. The first one dealt with the Faceless Ones. The next seems to be all about Necromancy (Darquesse, Remnants and Lord Vile). What is the last trilogy about?
You’ll find out…!
21. Who is the Unnamed?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
22. Can you answer the question you’ve always wanted to be asked but never have here?
Yes. The answer is: naturally.
23. What is the life story of Skulduggery’s first partner?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
24. Will Scapegrace and Thrasher remain zombies until they decompose or will they ever return to life?
I haven’t decided yet...!
25. Does Skulduggery ever learn about China leading his family into the trap?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
26. What does Skulduggery do with his spare head?
He keeps it in his hat room.
27. Will Cat die now Tesseract is too dead to look after him?
No, Cat is now living with Tesseract’s neighbour, Gertrude.
28. Do you like the name Aggoroth Shandular?
It is a fine name.
29. What century did Oisin come from?
One of the early ones.
30. Where is the soul located? Does Nye ever find out?
Only I know the answer to that one…
31. How many Jitter Girls are there?
Three.
32. What was the present that Skulduggery brought Valkyrie for Christmas?
He never told her.
33. Did Valkyrie ever get her big stick?
Not yet.
34. Are any more of the SP titles going to be based on Shakespeare quotations?
Probably not. Each trilogy has a title theme, so the style of titles will change against for the final trilogy.
35. Why is a soap bubble round?
Because a circle is a naturally occurring shape.
36. Did Kenspeckle like cheese?
He did.
37. Is the reason the Faceless Ones are evil because they had no one to read them bedtime stories when they were small?
Yes.
38. Purple? or Purple?
Neither.
39. What are you thinking right now?
Purple.
40. Can you tell us a really good joke?
Yes. I won’t, though.
41. Does the walker choose the path or the path the walker? (Huzzah for Garth Nix quotations)
The walker chooses the shoes.
42. How useless is a chocolate teapot?
Exceedingly.
43. This is a statement cunningly disguised as a question?
Very cunning.
44. Who is the person who wiped Davina Marr’s memory?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
45. Which languages do you speak?
English.
46. What is your favourite book (not one of yours).
Mucho Mojo, by Joe R Lansdale.
47. Do you write in cursive or......not?
Naw. I used to, when I was in school, but my handwriting was terrible. Now I just write however I want to, and it’s much clearer...
48. Did you know the oldest cat lived to be 38?
Oh dear God.
49. Did you know that cats can have vocalization sounds of 100 different kinds and dogs can only have about 10?
I did not know that. Now I do.
50. What is your favourite colour?
Blue, maybe.
51. Has Skulduggery Pleasant ever had any pets?
He had a dog called SkulDOGGery. Except he didn’t.
52. Have you ever looked at a goldfish and wondered if it remembers you from the last three seconds?
I keep forgetting.
53. Can vampires be animals? Or is it can animals be vampires?
Nope.
54. What’s your favourite dessert?
Um… ice cream.
55. Do you like orange juice?
Meh, it’s okay.
56. Which competitive sports (other than Martial Arts) do you like?
Tiddlywinks.
57. White chocolate, milk chocolate, or dark chocolate?
Milk chocolate.
58. What's your favourite fruit?
Apple.
59. What's your favourite weather/season?
Summer, I think... Or Autumn...
60. Where would you like to spend your holidays?
Disneyworld!!!!!! (Never been.)
61. What will you do after you finished the SP series?
Weep manly tears.
62. What is the airspeed velocity of an un-laden swallow?
What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?
63. What is your favourite letter in the alphabet?
Q.
64. If a munchkin were flying on the back of a giant elephant with the wings of a monkey and the tongue of a dinosaur and the giant elephant was wearing rollerskates with sparkly unicorn horns attached and this were a world where air resistance could be up to 10% less and carbon dioxide and oxygen were neither present so the density of air also reduced and the value of pi was the weight of a fish would chocolate taste the same?
No, it would be slightly off.
Revel in this knowledge!!!!
Derek Landy said...
1. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it?
I think it’s Joseph, but I could be wrong. It could be Garrett. I’m not sure. Derek isn’t even my real name, it’s just one that I’ve been using since I was born.
2. Did you know Derek Landy is an anagram of Deryn Dalek? (I’m odd I know)
I did know that, actually. It’s one of my favourite facts.
3. What is Desmond Edgley’s true name?
Don’t know! He doesn’t know either!
4. Is Mevolent truly dead? (The same way Lord Vile was believed to be dead but isn’t). Will he return?
Mevolent is dead. Anything more than that, I can’t say for certain.
5. Does Kenspeckle have a brother?
He used to, but he died years ago.
6. How did the Faceless Ones arrive on Earth in the first place?
That’s one of the great mysteries of the world…
7. Will you give us a random (it can be irrelevant but must be TRUE) fact about Book 8?
Book 8??? Good God… No, I don’t think I can, not until I solidify the final trilogy in my head.
8. How did Oisin die?
He fell over a bucket.
9. Have you written yourself out of the proverbial corner of the powerful Jitter Girls yet?
Oh yes. There’s only one person who could possibly defeat the Jitter Girls… mwahaha...
10. What day is your birthday? (More specific than October please!).
October 23rd- the same day (though obviously not the same YEAR) that Skulduggery died.
11. How does it feel to be the Golden God of thousands of little minion-y fans?
It feels overwhelmingly right.
12. Have you decided who to dedicate the remaining 4 books to? How about us minions?
I know exactly who the next four will be dedicated to- and I’m not saying!
13. What magical powers would Crystal and Carol have when they reached 21 (if they are able to do magic).
That all depends if they decided to be Adept or Elemental...
14. What is Valkyrie’s address?
Haggard!
15. Is Haggard a real town?
It’s a combination of Rush, Lusk and Skerries in North County Dublin- mostly Rush.
16. How on earth are you going to torture Tanith now she is inhabited by a remnant? What could be worse? Because you do intend to torture her in each book yes?
I don’t think there COULD be anything worse than her current state, so she might be safe from me for a while.
17. Will you write a prequel series?
No. I thought about it, but couldn’t find the enthusiasm.
18. What was the last thing Skulduggery ever ate?
Steak. Mmmmmm steak...
19. How did Beryl react when she discovered the brooch was missing?
I don’t think she’s actually noticed yet…!
20. The series seems to be composed of “trilogies”. The first one dealt with the Faceless Ones. The next seems to be all about Necromancy (Darquesse, Remnants and Lord Vile). What is the last trilogy about?
You’ll find out…!
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
22. Can you answer the question you’ve always wanted to be asked but never have here?
Yes. The answer is: naturally.
23. What is the life story of Skulduggery’s first partner?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
24. Will Scapegrace and Thrasher remain zombies until they decompose or will they ever return to life?
I haven’t decided yet...!
25. Does Skulduggery ever learn about China leading his family into the trap?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
26. What does Skulduggery do with his spare head?
He keeps it in his hat room.
27. Will Cat die now Tesseract is too dead to look after him?
No, Cat is now living with Tesseract’s neighbour, Gertrude.
28. Do you like the name Aggoroth Shandular?
It is a fine name.
29. What century did Oisin come from?
One of the early ones.
30. Where is the soul located? Does Nye ever find out?
Only I know the answer to that one…
31. How many Jitter Girls are there?
Three.
32. What was the present that Skulduggery brought Valkyrie for Christmas?
He never told her.
33. Did Valkyrie ever get her big stick?
Not yet.
34. Are any more of the SP titles going to be based on Shakespeare quotations?
Probably not. Each trilogy has a title theme, so the style of titles will change against for the final trilogy.
35. Why is a soap bubble round?
Because a circle is a naturally occurring shape.
36. Did Kenspeckle like cheese?
He did.
37. Is the reason the Faceless Ones are evil because they had no one to read them bedtime stories when they were small?
Yes.
38. Purple? or Purple?
Neither.
39. What are you thinking right now?
Purple.
40. Can you tell us a really good joke?
Yes. I won’t, though.
41. Does the walker choose the path or the path the walker? (Huzzah for Garth Nix quotations)
The walker chooses the shoes.
42. How useless is a chocolate teapot?
Exceedingly.
43. This is a statement cunningly disguised as a question?
Very cunning.
44. Who is the person who wiped Davina Marr’s memory?
This will be answered in the books or not at all.
English.
46. What is your favourite book (not one of yours).
Mucho Mojo, by Joe R Lansdale.
47. Do you write in cursive or......not?
Naw. I used to, when I was in school, but my handwriting was terrible. Now I just write however I want to, and it’s much clearer...
48. Did you know the oldest cat lived to be 38?
Oh dear God.
49. Did you know that cats can have vocalization sounds of 100 different kinds and dogs can only have about 10?
I did not know that. Now I do.
50. What is your favourite colour?
Blue, maybe.
51. Has Skulduggery Pleasant ever had any pets?
He had a dog called SkulDOGGery. Except he didn’t.
52. Have you ever looked at a goldfish and wondered if it remembers you from the last three seconds?
I keep forgetting.
53. Can vampires be animals? Or is it can animals be vampires?
Nope.
54. What’s your favourite dessert?
Um… ice cream.
55. Do you like orange juice?
Meh, it’s okay.
56. Which competitive sports (other than Martial Arts) do you like?
Tiddlywinks.
57. White chocolate, milk chocolate, or dark chocolate?
Milk chocolate.
58. What's your favourite fruit?
Apple.
59. What's your favourite weather/season?
Summer, I think... Or Autumn...
60. Where would you like to spend your holidays?
Disneyworld!!!!!! (Never been.)
61. What will you do after you finished the SP series?
Weep manly tears.
62. What is the airspeed velocity of an un-laden swallow?
What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?
63. What is your favourite letter in the alphabet?
Q.
64. If a munchkin were flying on the back of a giant elephant with the wings of a monkey and the tongue of a dinosaur and the giant elephant was wearing rollerskates with sparkly unicorn horns attached and this were a world where air resistance could be up to 10% less and carbon dioxide and oxygen were neither present so the density of air also reduced and the value of pi was the weight of a fish would chocolate taste the same?
No, it would be slightly off.
Revel in this knowledge!!!!
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Just 'Cause I Wanted To Too
I did the quiz that Miss Lizzy posted...
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.
"....I could not see where this train of thought was leading." (Set in Stone by Linda Newberry)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
"A wall, a plethera of pictures, and a bucketload of magnets..."
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Uh...Supernatural...I think.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
Probably 3:00...
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
3:03 Haha! Close enough!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Mother singing, the kettle, the dog snoring...
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Today, I was getting off the bus...
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at on the computer?
FanFiction.net I suppose.
9. What are you wearing?
School Uniform. I'm busy using the internet, shut up.
10. Did you dream last night?
Yep.
11. When did you last laugh?
On the bus...stupid song...
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Drawings, paintings (not mine of course), magnets, shelves, etc.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Well...For one I wrote "gog" and also this unicorn video about the great aspects of unicorns. Please don't ask.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
That's hardly relative. I think the quiz is perfect the way it is.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Uh...The Crazies I think.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Books...A bodyguard that I'll name Mr. Bubbles, a butler that I'll name Jeeves, and maybe some games...But definitely books.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
If I can't find any dressing to put on my wraps or sandwich's (I can't remember how to spell that at the moment), I just use maple syrup.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Um...
...
...
...
I'd be Captain General Awesome...
...
...
...
Whatever that entails...
19. Do you like to dance?
I like DDR. Does that count?
20. What would you call your first child? Give a boy and girl name.
I don't want kids but...
Elicia
and
Fenris (After one of the best characters EVER!)
Blessed be,
Miss Mary Hiashi
CHEESEY MOOSE! Yes not MOUSSE. MOOSE!
That's my phrase of the day...
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.
"....I could not see where this train of thought was leading." (Set in Stone by Linda Newberry)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
"A wall, a plethera of pictures, and a bucketload of magnets..."
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Uh...Supernatural...I think.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
Probably 3:00...
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
3:03 Haha! Close enough!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Mother singing, the kettle, the dog snoring...
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Today, I was getting off the bus...
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at on the computer?
FanFiction.net I suppose.
9. What are you wearing?
School Uniform. I'm busy using the internet, shut up.
10. Did you dream last night?
Yep.
11. When did you last laugh?
On the bus...stupid song...
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Drawings, paintings (not mine of course), magnets, shelves, etc.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Well...For one I wrote "gog" and also this unicorn video about the great aspects of unicorns. Please don't ask.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
That's hardly relative. I think the quiz is perfect the way it is.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Uh...The Crazies I think.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Books...A bodyguard that I'll name Mr. Bubbles, a butler that I'll name Jeeves, and maybe some games...But definitely books.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
If I can't find any dressing to put on my wraps or sandwich's (I can't remember how to spell that at the moment), I just use maple syrup.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Um...
...
...
...
I'd be Captain General Awesome...
...
...
...
Whatever that entails...
19. Do you like to dance?
I like DDR. Does that count?
20. What would you call your first child? Give a boy and girl name.
I don't want kids but...
Elicia
and
Fenris (After one of the best characters EVER!)
Blessed be,
Miss Mary Hiashi
CHEESEY MOOSE! Yes not MOUSSE. MOOSE!
That's my phrase of the day...
Monday, 18 April 2011
Da quiz :D
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.
The funeral director hesitated, then nodded, and wrote it down "And your brother's?" (yes, its is Mortal Coil XD)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
A map of my town, a wooden toy chest and a sticker.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Storage Wars
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
About 10:30 am
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:05 am, so close!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My damn brother, who is looking over my shoulder right now *kicks brother*
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I was outside all day yesterday. I was working for Appleseed
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at on the computer?
I was multi-tasking. Working on devaintart, chatting with Jaffa and Rachel, checking my emails, working for Appleseed... All at the same time
9. What are you wearing?
My pajamas. Over sized t-shirt and lounge pants, so glamorous :P
10. Did you dream last night?
I don't know....
11. When did you last laugh?
When my dad's friend Todd was Fred bashing (yeah...don't ask)
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Nice colored red paint and my little sisters drawings
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Hell yeah...
14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's pretty cool, but i really need to be working on others things right now :/
15. What is the last film you saw?
I don't remember, i don't really watch movies
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
My own rifle range. And a laptop.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I'm trying to lose weight (lol, random much?)
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
WORLD DOMINATION >:D *evil laugh* Kallista can be my co-ruler
19. Do you like to dance?
Hell no....
20. What would you call your first child? Give a boy and girl name
Kathleen
Finian
The funeral director hesitated, then nodded, and wrote it down "And your brother's?" (yes, its is Mortal Coil XD)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
A map of my town, a wooden toy chest and a sticker.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Storage Wars
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
About 10:30 am
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:05 am, so close!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My damn brother, who is looking over my shoulder right now *kicks brother*
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I was outside all day yesterday. I was working for Appleseed
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at on the computer?
I was multi-tasking. Working on devaintart, chatting with Jaffa and Rachel, checking my emails, working for Appleseed... All at the same time
9. What are you wearing?
My pajamas. Over sized t-shirt and lounge pants, so glamorous :P
10. Did you dream last night?
I don't know....
11. When did you last laugh?
When my dad's friend Todd was Fred bashing (yeah...don't ask)
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Nice colored red paint and my little sisters drawings
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Hell yeah...
14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's pretty cool, but i really need to be working on others things right now :/
15. What is the last film you saw?
I don't remember, i don't really watch movies
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
My own rifle range. And a laptop.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I'm trying to lose weight (lol, random much?)
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
WORLD DOMINATION >:D *evil laugh* Kallista can be my co-ruler
19. Do you like to dance?
Hell no....
20. What would you call your first child? Give a boy and girl name
Kathleen
Finian
Friday, 15 April 2011
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Happy 12th April
Well I felt like making a birthday post but it's nobody's birthday which is just my luck.
So today shall henceforth be Happy 12th April Day or possibly Cosmonautics day if you live in Russia or this is highly unlikely but if you do live in the Roman Empire then today is the first day of Cerealia!
So for the next week let us all celebrate the festival for the grain goddess Ceres.
One custom was to tie blazing torches to the tails of live foxes and release them into the Circus Maximus.
They also have horse races.
Tristessa informs me that today is also RAINBOW AND SUNSHINE DAY!!!!
So today shall henceforth be Happy 12th April Day or possibly Cosmonautics day if you live in Russia or this is highly unlikely but if you do live in the Roman Empire then today is the first day of Cerealia!
So for the next week let us all celebrate the festival for the grain goddess Ceres.
One custom was to tie blazing torches to the tails of live foxes and release them into the Circus Maximus.
They also have horse races.
Cute no?
This is a painting of Cerealia
Pity the Romans had no cereal bars...
Happy Cerealia!!!
Also Yuri Gagarin became the first human in outer space 50 years ago on this day.
Yuri on a coin
Tristessa informs me that today is also RAINBOW AND SUNSHINE DAY!!!!
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Yay! A short comic!
Hey Y'all! i made this super short comic last night. Well, it was really more like this morning because it was about 1:15am, but whatever. So yeah, this took me about five minutes and i really need more help drawing chibi's (and thinking up titles because this one sucks)
Monday, 28 March 2011
Shotguns
Hi there! Today, my fellow friends and minions of Derek, we are all going to learn a little thing about shotguns.
Now, I must say, I am not a complete expert with this sort of thing, and yes, a lot of my information comes from computer game-related topics. So, there is a small chance that I will be completely wrong.
SO! The first thing we are all going to learn about shotguns, is that they are not like normal guns.
Shotguns do not have normal bullets. Where you might think 'If I shoot at a target one kilometre with a shotgun, the bullet will at least reach that distance in a sort of straight line.'
Sorry, but that's incorrect.
To somehow clear things up, let's get some pictures up in here. My character, Israel, has a shotgun that is perfect for what I want to talk about.
Ah, much better.
Ok, so his weapon is something called a Double Barrel Shotgun. Say it with me, class. That's right.
The title practically refers to what it is. It's a shotgun. With two barrels.
This gun, however, is more commonly referred to as a sawn-off, because of the way that both the stock (the butt of the gun, the end that presses against your shoulder) and the barrels (um, i'm guessing you all know these) are sawn off of the gun. This allows for easily carrying around the gun and hiding it under, say, a jacket.
But no, that does not mean that you can have a sawn-off bazooka. That would just be way too silly :P
Where was I? Ah yes, teaching. Alright, so now I want to get on to the actual 'bullets' that this beast of a gun shoots.
In Exhibit B, do you see those green cylinder-looking things? Those are called shotgun shells. In this particular gun, it can only hold two at a time.
If you look closely at the shells in Exhibit B, you can also see the gold rim on the outside. Take note of that.
With a double-barrel, there is a sort of flick-switch thing (visible in Exhibit A, if you can spot it. It's on the top, nailed into position by one of the screws) that, when flicked to the side, lets the barrels fall forward a little way on a hinge. This is what we call a Break Barrel. Because the barrel of the gun is breaking in half.
And quite obviously, sitting very tight and cozily in the barrels there, are the tops of two gold-rimmed shotguns shells. (exhibit A.)
Now then, i'm not quite sure about the mechanisms of it all, but from what i know, the trigger gets pulled, hammers swing backward and then forward, making contact with the metal rims of the shells and creating a spark. The spark sets off the gunpowder inside the shells (i don't know how it does, please don't ask) and instead of a bullet being let loose, many SMALLER bullets do. Pellets, really. But flying at such a high rate that they are deadly.
The moment these pellets leave the barrel, or buckshot, as it is actually called, it spreads out in all directions, covering a wide amount of space.
Shotguns do not shoot very far. A good one will most likely shoot one hundred metres. A bad one, probably only fifteen. By the time the buckshot has reached the target, is has spread out to a wide area, and will most likely make a large mess of whoever it is being fired at.
So, when you are writing, and you say 'The bullet missed him by inches', try and remember if you are writing about a shotgun, because if you are, it would most likely be not missing them by inches, and instead either shooting them to bits, or they dive out the way and it causes havoc to whatever's behind them.
Therefore, a shotgun blast cannot whiz past your head, because i assure you, if someone has a shotgun to your face, there is no such thing as a warning shot, unless it is directed into the air. No way could you judge exactly where each and every piece of buckshot is headed.
Alas, the double barrel shotgun is a very old gun indeed. Nowadays, we have automatic shotguns, which are practically shotguns but they shoot continuously.
For instance, here we have the AA12. Watch this youtube video:
And that's just about all i had to say.
I am not in a mood, i am not taking a dig at anyone, and i'm not pissed. Just so you all know....i re-read this and it kinda sounded like I was annoyed at everyone :/ I'm not, i swear! You're all awesome!
Now, I must say, I am not a complete expert with this sort of thing, and yes, a lot of my information comes from computer game-related topics. So, there is a small chance that I will be completely wrong.
SO! The first thing we are all going to learn about shotguns, is that they are not like normal guns.
Shotguns do not have normal bullets. Where you might think 'If I shoot at a target one kilometre with a shotgun, the bullet will at least reach that distance in a sort of straight line.'
Sorry, but that's incorrect.
To somehow clear things up, let's get some pictures up in here. My character, Israel, has a shotgun that is perfect for what I want to talk about.
 |
| This is exhibit A. |
 |
| And exhibit B. |
Ok, so his weapon is something called a Double Barrel Shotgun. Say it with me, class. That's right.
The title practically refers to what it is. It's a shotgun. With two barrels.
This gun, however, is more commonly referred to as a sawn-off, because of the way that both the stock (the butt of the gun, the end that presses against your shoulder) and the barrels (um, i'm guessing you all know these) are sawn off of the gun. This allows for easily carrying around the gun and hiding it under, say, a jacket.
But no, that does not mean that you can have a sawn-off bazooka. That would just be way too silly :P
Where was I? Ah yes, teaching. Alright, so now I want to get on to the actual 'bullets' that this beast of a gun shoots.
In Exhibit B, do you see those green cylinder-looking things? Those are called shotgun shells. In this particular gun, it can only hold two at a time.
If you look closely at the shells in Exhibit B, you can also see the gold rim on the outside. Take note of that.
With a double-barrel, there is a sort of flick-switch thing (visible in Exhibit A, if you can spot it. It's on the top, nailed into position by one of the screws) that, when flicked to the side, lets the barrels fall forward a little way on a hinge. This is what we call a Break Barrel. Because the barrel of the gun is breaking in half.
And quite obviously, sitting very tight and cozily in the barrels there, are the tops of two gold-rimmed shotguns shells. (exhibit A.)
Now then, i'm not quite sure about the mechanisms of it all, but from what i know, the trigger gets pulled, hammers swing backward and then forward, making contact with the metal rims of the shells and creating a spark. The spark sets off the gunpowder inside the shells (i don't know how it does, please don't ask) and instead of a bullet being let loose, many SMALLER bullets do. Pellets, really. But flying at such a high rate that they are deadly.
The moment these pellets leave the barrel, or buckshot, as it is actually called, it spreads out in all directions, covering a wide amount of space.
Shotguns do not shoot very far. A good one will most likely shoot one hundred metres. A bad one, probably only fifteen. By the time the buckshot has reached the target, is has spread out to a wide area, and will most likely make a large mess of whoever it is being fired at.
So, when you are writing, and you say 'The bullet missed him by inches', try and remember if you are writing about a shotgun, because if you are, it would most likely be not missing them by inches, and instead either shooting them to bits, or they dive out the way and it causes havoc to whatever's behind them.
Therefore, a shotgun blast cannot whiz past your head, because i assure you, if someone has a shotgun to your face, there is no such thing as a warning shot, unless it is directed into the air. No way could you judge exactly where each and every piece of buckshot is headed.
Alas, the double barrel shotgun is a very old gun indeed. Nowadays, we have automatic shotguns, which are practically shotguns but they shoot continuously.
For instance, here we have the AA12. Watch this youtube video:
And that's just about all i had to say.
I am not in a mood, i am not taking a dig at anyone, and i'm not pissed. Just so you all know....i re-read this and it kinda sounded like I was annoyed at everyone :/ I'm not, i swear! You're all awesome!
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